Little Sugar River Farm

Friday Andrew and I headed to the Little Sugar River Farm in Albany Wisconsin for our first vacation since Christmas. I discovered this little piece of heaven from Jen Gray. The pictures on the farm's website look great but the place is even better in person! The house is absolutely gorgeous!!! It's also so cozy, calm and relaxing. The farm had everything I was looking for and so much more.... two friendly dogs, funny chickens, blue sky, sunshine, sandhill cranes, ruby-throated hummingbirds, fabulous bike trails, tasty organic salad greens, a porch swing.... I think this may have been the most relaxing vacation I've ever had.

Thank you to the owners Frank and Nancy for making our stay so easy and comfortable. For anyone looking to get away from your phone, tv, computer, chores and errands, this is the place.

Here's Andrew making us dinner...


One of the chicks that provided us with breakfast...


A view of the house...


Me and Teva relaxing and knitting in the sun....

Hunger pains...

I am so tired..... and hungry... Andrew you must come home right now or I might starve to death before you make it back.....

Mother, cover your eyes...after all the nice things I said about you yesterday, one thing I didn't learn from you was how to cook. I am a disaster in the kitchen. I hate it. I LOVE to bake...HATE to cook. I can reasonably only last 3 days on my own. Baked chicken, pasta, and DiGornio frozen pizza. That has become the extent of my culinary skills. Very sad, I realize this....but we can't all be good at everything. Tonight I ate half of a yucky bowl of some sort of microwaveable asian noodle dish. It was not good...and I'm still hungry.

I'm thinking of buying this book. I found it at a fabulous home store I discovered tonight called French General. I've been thinking about having my own store someday for a couple years now. Remember how I was schmoozing the owner of Sycamore Moon the other day. Every so often this dream rears it's ugly head...and this is one of those times... maybe some day something will come of it.

A super big Yippee!! to Naima who won America's Next Top Model. She was my favorite all along. Now I normally try to stay away from learning life lessons from reality TV shows.... but I must admit that something from this show has stuck in my head recently.

If I don't believe in myself, no one else will either.

The biggest thing holding me back the last 5 years has been lack of confidence. I either need to pull myself together or end up being 80 and full of regret. Excuse my foul language, but it is time to "sh** or get off the pot". Yes, I can stay at the job I have and lead a VERY comfortable, safe and somewhat interesting life. But will it make me happy? It hasn't made me that happy for the last 5 years....chances are it's not going to get any better in the next 5. It's time to shake things up! Get out of my comfort zone!! Live life to the fullest!!!

1 day until vacation
8 days until a house is all mine....

Happy Birthday Mom

This is one of my favorite photographs of my mother. That's my older brother sitting in her lap. I don't think I even existed yet when this photo was taken but something about it...the lighting I think...how the sun is shining behind her, just makes my heart skip a beat. Maybe it's her hair...I don't think I've ever seen her hair that long. I think she still has those hexagone glasses hidden somewhere in the house.

Today is my mother's birthday and as usual I have been the delinquent daughter. I've known for weeks that this day was coming, watching it on the calendar, trying to plan a gift...and then the next thing I know the day is upon me and I haven't done a thing!! I'm so bad! I did actually put something in the mail yesterday but it wasn't exactly what I wanted to send.

First I thought about sending you my first set of batiked napkins....except when I hand washed them this past weekend the dye faded into the batik pattern and made it all but disappear. =( not such a good gift. Then I thought about sending you the collage you said you liked....but I needed to seal it and paint the edges and everything in the apartment is packed already and I couldn't find all my supplies, blah, blah, blah....it just wasn't going to happen. =( again, sorry for the poor planning...

So I figured the best thing I could do was write you a little blog.

You are a beautiful, strong, funny, smart and loving woman. Each day I see a part of you in myself. The way I scramble eggs in the morning, the way I fold my clothes, the stack of magazines I have next to the couch, the pile of half started craft projects piled on my table, the common sense I dish out to whoever will listen, and the love I carry in my heart. You taught me all of these things and lots more. I miss you very, very much living all the way in Missouri and I hope you know that. I know there is so much more I could learn from you and about you... I hope I get the chance.

I love you Mom, very much. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and I hope I get back home to see you soon.

xxoo

12 Days!

[Andrew and Della]

until we get the house!!! Andrew will be gone for the next 4 days.... =( He is in Providence for work. But then we get to take a vacation together. My first since Christmas!! I can't wait!!! Friday Andrew and I head to Wisconsin for a long weekend of deep relaxation. We get back Monday and then it is only 3 days until we close on the house!!! I am so excited and nervous I don't know what to do with myself. Andrew has also been suffering from awful cabin fever...we are both so ready to just get on with the rest of our lives...in a house!

Today I think I am going to do lots of house dreaming.... I might even create some storyboards for some of the rooms in the house. We'll see if I get that motivated.

Yesterday I visited my favorite home boutique and tried to schmoooze the owner so that when I come back and beg her for a job someday she remembers me as friendly and outgoing. Her store is SO adorable and has the best atmosphere. If only I can make my house feel that good.

I found a new blog I am in love with, Crazy Aunt Purl. This girl is definitely up there on the entertaining scale with Dooce. Love, love, love her. I have found myself craving more knitting blogs these days. As I get ready to finish my second project I am excited about starting a new pattern and it seems the best way to find cool patterns is from other knitters. In fact I think today I might go looking for a new knitting book that I've read about on so other blogs.

I miss you Andrew!!

Clover, no clover?

Ok, here you go. The finished green collage. I'm giving it to you 2 ways....you tell me which one you like better. The original idea was to do a series of the clovers but I think I might like it better on it's own.






And here is another to make up for being a day late.

Security system = big yellow dog

[niece Maggie, mother's day 2005]

Here we are again....Collage Wednesday and no collage. Last night I actually did finish the collage I started last week....but I'm too lazy to take a picture of it. It's already dark and I know the picture will come out awful.

It was kind of a hairy evening... I came home from work and had 10 minutes before the security system salesman showed up to talk to us. Then Andrew had to let Kula out of her crate so she could bark aggressively in the the security salesman's face.... (did I mention this dog will be the death of me?) Thank God she just growled/barked and didn't bite!

It wasn't until 7:15 that I finally got to take Kula for a walk and it wasn't until 7:30 that I finally got to make myself dinner. Then on top of it all Andrew is sick with a spring cold and needs some extra love and attention.

Meeting with a security salesman is interesting.... hearing all of his horror stories and scary scenarios and trying not to panic! I hope all of this fancy technology actually gives me peace of mind when I'm in the house.

Sorry for the hodge podge post.... Emotions are running high these days and it's a bit exhausting. Mother's day always makes me home sick....hence the picture of my niece Maggie.... I hope I get to see everyone soon. =(

16 days until we close on the house!!

I & the Poppy

Andrew and I attended the Laumeier Sculpture Park Art Fair as planned on Friday evening. It was an absolutely gorgeous spring evening in Missouri. The perfect temperature, just a touch of the setting sun, a light breeze.... wonderful....

A lot of the same artist were at the show that attended last year but many had new work. I found it interesting to see how their work had changed or stayed the same over the passage of time. Andrew and I ended up purchasing two pieces for the new house.


One was a photograph by Audrey Heller. Audrey's work is super fun and Andrew and I are looking forward to giggling when we see it each morning.


The other piece we bought was by Diana Stetson. This piece is made using a technique called collography. I can't explain it but Diana really exuded a wonderful spirit...and so does her work. I'm really glad that it will be in our home. The text in the top right corner says, "Just simply alive*Both of us*I & the poppy."


The piece that got away was one of these SUPER, SUPER, fun graphite art objects that you can write with just like a regular pencil!!

This is what I spent the rest of my weekend doing....

Kula is molting her winter hair...and has been for about a week now. The pile you see here is just one of MANY! I hope she is done soon!

You're getting warmer, #36

Sorry gang... no collage Wednesday...unless I get home tomorrow night and have a sudden burst of energy and motivation. We'll see...it's possible.

Today I bought my first Amy Ruppel!!

[You're getting warmer, by Amy Ruppel]

I'm totally excited! I love her work! I think this is really the first piece of official art I've ever bought. Amy is crazy popular. Her sale started at 1pm Central Time and everything was sold within two hours! The one I really wanted was gone in 30 seconds!

Andrew and I will also be attending the Laumeier Sculpture Park Art Fair this weekend. I went last year and had a great time. I got an awesome pair of earrings and my favorite St. Louis artist Caroline Huth was there. Maybe Andrew and I will buy one of her pieces this year. Something about buying a house has us craving new artwork.

I've been spending most of my evenings this week researching paint, refrigerators and washing machines. I'm trying to find a balance between being environmentally friendly, spending money and being stressed. Being good to the earth takes cash and energy. It's hard work. I did find a really awesome website though that has tons of great advice for home owners who are interested in being earth friendly. It's called eartheasy and I highly recommend it. I will be referring to it often in the next month.

Introductory batiking

Sunday was my very first attempt at batiking! I started gathering the various supplies over 3 years ago! Good Gracious! I started by buying several colors of RIT dye. Then last summer I started buying vintage linen napkins and last fall I purchased a electric skillet off of eBay. It all came together on Sunday and I was so excited!

Things I learned:
1. watch out for drips. Always give your stamping item a good shake before taking it over your fabric.
2. don't dye too many pieces at once. I put four napkins in the bucket at once and they didn't come out nearly as well as when I only put two napkins in the bucket.

I'm a little nervous about removing the wax with a hot iron because when I tried to do this for some of the drips I made....it seemed to just spread the wax out rather than really lifting it. I really need to read my batiking book but it's already packed and I don't know which box to look in! Damn this move! I'm trying to keep in mind that it is only the first attempt...so it can only get better, right?

Here they are in progress...




Oh, sad, sad looking napkin. I hope a good washing and ironing will improve things....

Martin Sexton

Well I'm officially old.

Friday night Andrew and I had tickets to see one of my favorite musicians, Martin Sexton. He is a blues/folk singer from Syracuse New York. I got home from work about 6:30 and needed a nap...I told Andrew to wake me up in an hour. Next thing I know, I wake up and Andrew is asleep next to me and it's 9 pm! Guess when the show started?! 9pm! So there is example number one of being old....a 2.5 hour nap on a Friday night.

We rushed out the door and stopped at Whole Foods on the way for slices of pizza. We got to the show just as Martin was getting onto the stage, perfect. But then out of all the places we could have picked to stand in the room we stand behind the three, loudest, drunkest and most obnoxious three college girls. They ruined the entire show for me. They were just totally distracting. Screaming over Martin the whole evening, grinding with each other, falling over drunk. Example number two and three of being old.... I was depressed thinking about how much I missed college and angry about having to be around drunk college students.

Martin is really an incredible musician. This was my third time seeing him live and he never disappoints. Check out his tour schedule.

Collage Wednesday

So I realized this evening that I really need to start preparing for Collage Wednesday on Tuesday evening instead of Wednesday evening.... sorry about that.

I did work on a new one this evening however I didn't get a chance to glue it down and I didn't want to rush myself and then regret it later. So here is a pre-rubber cement peek.

Lucky Coin

So life still feels like it is moving at lightning speed...or rather just a stressful speed.

There were lots of changes at my job on Friday that have me all worked up. They are probably good changes but any change at this time in my life feels uncomfortable and scary. Work changes, home changes, etc....too many changes all at once. But I've already complained about how much is going on in the next two months so I won't bore you with another pity party.

This weekend Andrew and I bought a new couch! We bought it at Intaglia but unfortunately the one we picked is not pictured on their website. It looks a little like this one, only smaller, with no back cushions and a lighter colored linen. I hope it works in the new house!


Books that my mom sent me this weekend:

• Folk Bags: 30 Knitting patterns and tales from around the world
• 25 bags to knit

They both have really good patterns but the directions seem complicated...especially in the Folk bags one... I think I will need a more experienced knitter to help me along.

Sunday Andrew and I watched Hotel Rwanda. An excellent movie but very, very, very sad and heart-renching.

I've been meaning to catch up on some quilting links.
Be Be Bold Quilts [via wee wonderfuls] are super cool. Lucky coin is my favorite.



Felt Wall instructions [via angry chicken] This is exactly what I want to create in my room in the new house. I can't wait!

Collage Wednesday #5

I made it! It is still Wednesday, 10:47 pm to be exact, and I am posting my Wednesday collage. I'm excited to say my idea worked. Having a Collage Wednesday motivated me to create a new collage....even though it is way past my bedtime. You can see that I have been busy making a mess of my desk... digging through all my old and new scraps.

Here is the result.


I'm not happy with how the Modge Podge is working. It is making the pieces wrinkle... I will have to try something else. I think I knew this already...but in my rush to get something done I obviously didn't think hard enough.

Thanks to my friend Shaili who commented on my previous entry. I've tried to express my internal conflict about my interest in design before but either no one seemed interested or I never really felt understood. Thank you so much Shaili, you totally got it! Your words were very inspiring. I already feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. =)

Decoration Final Exam

The apartment is an utter disaster area... I think I have pulled out every decorating magazine I own...and that's a lot of magazines! They are everywhere! Next to the bed, next to the couch, the dining room table, the bathroom, the office... I must figure out some way to organize it all...but nothing has come to me yet.

Today at lunch as I was sketching out the layout of the first floor of the house I realized there were way too many things I wanted and not enough money to go around. I started thinking about when Alex moved to L.A. and how she decided to spend her money only on the things she thought were most important to her. Is this something I can do?

For as long as I've dreamed about being an interior designer I've also dreaded the moral guilt I've created that goes along with it. The more I want to decorate the more I get down on myself for being materialistic and shallow. It is a completely self constructed problem I've created. I know in my heart that good design does not have to cost a lot of money and that there are millions of great designers out there who create beauty with the simplest of objects. Then again I read so many magazines and in these magazines I see so many beautiful objects that can only be aquired at a cost. I try to convince myself that interior design isn't about acquiring objects, especially expensive objects. It is about the visual imagery and emotional response that is created by the combination of interior elements. For some it is truly an art form. The room is the canvas and the fabrics, wallpaper, paint, pillows, rugs, pictures, vases, candles, floors, windows, etc are all just the paints put onto the canvas.

Then again, as someone who loves good design and someone who has coveted good design for so long there are some things I want to say visually that I can't do inexpensively....and that is frustrating. Sometimes having good taste is a curse! I do think my impatience also plays a large part in all of this internal drama, along with worrying about money. My favorite aesthetic by far is using vintage, antique and found pieces but finding those pieces takes time.... and it is never quite quick enough to satisfy me.

Thinking about decorating this house is causing all sorts of stress and excitment in me. I've been dreaming for YEARS about having a space that I could do anything I wanted. No more boring white walls!! I can paint any color I want! So many ideas are fighting their way out of my brain it just feels like chaos. And more guilt... worrying about re-sale value is another thing that has me thinking about censoring my creative urges.

Part of me feels like this is a long awaited exam.... that if I can't decorate my own home I shouldn't go back to school to be a designer. This is an incredible amount of pressure my ego is putting on me, no wonder I feel stressed to the max!!

Andrew leaves for NY tomorrow... it's not great timing because he will miss the inspection and we are still trying to work out things with the lender and insurance. However, part of me is looking forward to a little alone time.... After 3 intense weeks of house shopping and negotiations together I can have some time to myself to clean up the apartment, organize my internal decoration final exam, and organize my thoughts...

Obsessing over...

curtains
paint
couches
rugs
books
more books
faucets
wallpaper and more wallpaper
waiting for my Domino magazine to arrive! 8 more days!

Andrew and I got over zealous and started packing already! Kula and Della don't know what is going on. Now we get to stare at boxes for 6 weeks. Oh well...at least we are excited. The inspection is Thursday. I'm all ready to measure the space for the fridge, the height of the windows in the living room and the space for a bed in the guest room. I'm on decoration overload!

Guess what Andrew is signing....

It's bigger than a bread box...but smaller than the Mall of America....

It's our new house! (pending inspections, closing and lots of paperwork)

Take a peek!

Collage Wednesday #4 (a little late...sorry)

[butterflies, magazine collage, 2001]

I can't believe I missed Collage Wednesday! This house stuff has taken over our lives!! I kid you not...the apartment is a MESS!! Dishes in the sink, clothes everywhere, papers and magazines everywhere, no food in the fridge, piles of laundry, it's making me crazy! Tuesday night we didn't eat dinner until 9 pm! Everyone is feeling the stress...Kula hasn't been eating and Della is constantly meowing and wanting attention. I think there might be a light at the end of the tunnel...but it just isn't getting here fast enough.

Actually...I'm starting to think that things won't really slow down until the end of June. In the next 9 weeks we have a trip to Wisconsin, we might have to move into a house and out of an apartment, and be in a wedding. Not to mention that mixed in there will be work trips to NY for Andrew, birthdays, concerts, wedding showers, bachelor parties and all the regular stuff that makes life tick. Most of this stuff will be a lot of fun and I really shouldn't be dreading it....I just wish it wasn't all happening at what feels like the same time. I think maybe Andrew and I should have waited to buy a house until the fall...

Needless to say I probably won't be posting a lot of crafts for awhile. I have one knitting project I'm working on that I must get done soon and I'm also going to try and keep up the collages but other than that everything must be put on hold.

Stayed tuned...

Redbud

[redbud tree, Valley Park, Missouri; April 9, 2005]

Has is really only been a week? It feels like it has been a month since Andrew and I started the house search. We are two SUPER impatient people! What a stressful, stressful whirlwind.

It was gorgeous here in Missouri this weekend, sunny, high 70s. I had shorts on and took Kula for a big hike at Castlewood State Park with Andrew. I LOVE Missouri in the spring. All the plants and flowers are blooming like crazy. You can walk everywhere and smell the sweet scent of magnolias.

Despite the nice weather there really was a lot of stress this weekend. Andrew and I saw a nice house on Sunday but it's in a neighborhood that isn't my first choice. Ironically Keri Smith talked about the meaning of home on her page today. I'm sharing a lot of her feelings about being terrified and overwhelmed but also contemplating new spaces, new opportunities and new adventures. I have also been thinking about how it is time to step out of my comfort zone and challenge myself. I have gotten boring and sheltered living in the suburbs for 4 years. It's time to shake things up, right?

I'm amazed that any couple actually makes it through the house buying process. We each have such different wants, needs, expectations, perceptions and opinions. It is very difficult to compromise on what feels like such a big decision.

So, I will try to keep up with my writing...but if I disappear for a bit you know where I am.

Collage Wednesday #3

I made this piece the summer of 2003 for my boyfriend Andrew. It is framed, matted in orange and hangs in his bathroom with the other piece I made for him.

I found these beautiful photo collages via Tania this morning. It looks like there are some more collages here too, but it's in another language so I'm not sure what I'm looking at or who the artist is. I can't wait to find some time to dig into them some more.

Home Sick

This picture makes me think of home. I grew up in Cortland New York. A small town 30 minutes south of Syracuse New York.

This picture is actually in Pennsylvania. It's from a wonderful new photoblog called A Walk Through Durham Township, Pennsylvania. [found via the 2005 Phoottobloggie awards] The photographer is Kathleen Connally and her work is absolutely breathtaking. It's no wonder she was the winner of 2 Photobloggie awards this year, best landscape photography and photo of the year.

I've been missing from my blog the last few days because Andrew and I have started the search for a home...and it's making me sick...with stress. Home shopping is exhausting, physically and mentally. We finally have a realtor so suddenly it feels like the race is on. We've probably seen 15-20 houses in the last 3 days. One is too close to the highway, another is too expensive, one is too small, another on a bad street. I can't believe we have seen so many houses and none of them feel right. I'm getting more and more anxious that I'm going to end up having to settle for something....and that is an awful feeling. We've only just started the search but our excitement is keeping us from being patient.

Lastly I'm homesick because I found out that one of my uncles died of a heart attack this past weekend. My Uncle Teddy. I probably haven't seen him since I was 10 years old but he made an impression on me. I remember him as a very large, happy, friendly black man. I always used to be so proud of that...telling all my grade school friends that I had a black uncle. He was a dedicated social worker, an avid golfer, raised two kids, and struggled with kidney disease for almost 30 years. I always wanted to go back and visit him in New Jersey to get reacquainted...but now all I have are my memories. I wanted to post a picture of him but I don't have any with me...they are all back home in NY.

This is the second uncle I have lost to a heart attack in the last 4 years. It's weird being at a stage in my life where I am starting to lose loved ones. It makes me miss the past and fear the future.

I miss you Uncle Teddy and I'm sorry I didn't get to see you again before you had to go.

sad day

What a sad, sad, sad day.... Andrew no longer has access to AOL Instant Messenger. =(

This may sound silly but I am really devastated. Andrew and I have been talking online 5 days a week for almost 6 years (minus 10 months when we were being stupid and having a tiff). I seriously don't know if I can function at work without being able to chat with him all day?

I'm sure you are all thinking.."Oh Sara...you will get more done at work! You shouldn't be talking online all day anyway!" You are probably right....but having Andrew online has always been a security blanket for me... It was a HUGE part of how we communicated everyday. We had our own language, our own humor, our own little daily dance over the big, bad, world wide web.

Each day started by logging on, opening IM and giving a little "xxoo" to my sweetie. No more "xxoo".... no more "=+".... no more instant fun, laughter, support and love.....

Ugh...so sad....

Daylight Savings

Finally! Spring is here!

It's been in the 70s the last two days and the sun is shining! I was so depressed last week when it was so gray and rainy, day after day....

I can't wait until Sunday when it is sunny and warm and Andrew and I can take Kula out to play.

It really feels like today should be Friday. I've already worked almost 40 hours this week and I can't stand the thought of having to come back to this cube tomorrow. =(

Don't forget that Daylight Savings is this weekend. We lose an hour of sleep on Saturday night/Sunday morning.

Collage Wednesday

Hey! It’s Collage Wednesday!

This is a collage that I made for my boyfriend Andrew….right before he was my boyfriend.

It was Valentine’s Day weekend February 2003. Andrew and I were still just friends and I went to visit him in NYC. We had a great weekend hanging with friends, visiting museums, eating yummy food….until….the blizzard of 2003 hit NY. We were eating a not so good seafood dinner in Manhattan when the snow started to fall. By the time we came out of the restaurant there was already 2-3 inches of snow on the ground. Now this might not sound like something to panic about…except Andrew’s car is a very tiny Mazda Miata convertible. This car was not made for snow.

It was a very exciting trip out of Manhattan and into Queens where we took our chances trying to make it to the grocery store to stock up in case we got snowed in. The place looked like a war zone!! Crowded with people, empty shelves with no food, I wasn’t quite sure we were going to make it out of there. We gathered supplies for chicken noodle soup, breakfast and snacks and trudged back out to the car.

Now getting home was the highlight of the evening. In order to get back to Andrew’s house we had to take a street that went right up a hill. Mazda Miata convertible + hill + 4 inches of snow = not really going anywhere fast. It was an absolute miracle that we made it up that street and personally I think it was my extra special skill of rubbing the car’s dashboard and screaming sweet nothings at it…”You can do it Tristessa! Go! Go! You can make it!” that got us up that hill.

The whole adventure was a blast and thank goodness we went to the store because 3-4 feet of snow fell on the city that night and we were most definitely trapped in the house….. for an extra 2 days!! The airport was shut down. Everything was shut down.

Out of sheer boredom and cabin fever I started sorting through Andrew’s supply of Wired magazines and this collage was born. It looks kind of awful because the only glue at my disposal was a crazy little bottle of, I don’t even know what, that didn’t work so well.

Beside the fact that the glue was awful I really like this piece. It brings back great memories and was so super spontaneous. It was my gift to Andrew and it hangs in his bathroom with another collage I made for him that I’ll show you next week. The orange border is actually the matting around the collage.

No time to nap with Della

I’m so busy! I was at work for 12 hours yesterday! This morning I was off to the dentist and tonight Kula needs a serious manicure. Tomorrow night I have to make banana bread for a work pot luck event. Friday I have to stay at work late. Saturday is a Final Four party. I might also be dog sitting for my friend Aileen this weekend and then I have a charity fund raiser event on Sunday. I thought March was going to be slow and boring but it’s the exact opposite. I can’t keep up!

With so much going on I haven’t had any time to quilt or knit…which makes me want to cry. =(

I’m not sure April will be much better. Andrew and I are speeding things up on the house buying adventure and I’m helping my friend Leigh plan for her June wedding.

I have been working on a slipcover for my office chair because if I have to work in corporate America at least I can make my cube have some personality. I’ve finished the top but I am still working on the bottom. You can see part of it in this picture. I’m pleating the orange striped fabric to be a little skirt. I’ll try and take a picture of the top tonight so you can get a better idea of what I’m doing.

Congratulations Keith and Shaili

My good friends Keith and Shaili spent last week camping and canoeing in Arkansas and then arrived in St. Louis last night for a visit on their way home to Wisconsin. Turns out they had a surprise to share. They are having a wedding!!! This is very exciting because Keith and Shaili have been dating a long time and I started to think there would never be a wedding...which is totally cool but...weddings are cool too! I am SO excited to be able to celebrate with them in July, it sounds like it is going to be a very relaxed, fun and wonderful wedding.

So CONGRATULATIONS Keith and Shaili!! It was fabulous to get to see you and I can't wait to see you in July.

Collage Wednesday

Inspired by Amy's "Quilt Monday" I decide that maybe I should try having a "Collage Wednesday". If you hadn't noticed already I added a link over to the right called "collage". I've only added 2 so far but I have more I need to add. I think each week I will try and post a new image of a collage I have made and then add it to the gallery.

This is a piece I made back in 2001. I started making collages out of magazines about six years ago when I first moved to St. Louis Missouri. I LOVE magazines and since I'm CONSTANTLY flipping through magazines I just naturally started ripping out colors, textures and images that spoke to me and creating collages. I actually haven't worked on anything in probably a year but it is always in the back of my head. I have a HUGE box of magazine clippings just waiting to be mixed and matched, cut and pasted into beautiful new creations. I'm hoping "Collage Wednesday" will motivate me to start creating some new pieces. I hope you enjoy seeing my work!

Envy

"A feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another." [via dictionary.com]

Andrew and I spent 3 hours looking at houses yesterday. We looked at a total of 11. It was quite exhausting and depressing. All the neighborhoods that I want to live in are way too expensive for tiny, TINY houses. Our apartment is bigger than most of these houses!! Last night and this morning I am feeling the weight of “envy” on my shoulders and my spirit and it sucks….

I’ve been feeling a lot of “envy” for the last couple years. Between friends getting married, friends getting new jobs, friends buying HUGE, beautiful houses, and friends having babies I have been feeling quite out of sorts. I don’t like the feeling of envy. It doesn’t make me feel good. I love my friends and I am happy for them…really I am. I just wish I could stop my mind from always comparing and comparing and comparing. The “envy” is heavy and cold and uncomfortable. It makes me feel small and sad and lonely. It plays tricks on me…how will I ever find a house that is as good? How will I ever have a wedding that is as good? Everyone has done it first, so when my turn comes around it will be old and boring. The “envy” won’t let me shake these thoughts.

On 60 minutes last night they had a story about the Moken people who managed to survive the tsunami late last year because they knew how to read the signs of the ocean. The story explored lots of other details of their culture such as the fact that they have no words for hello, goodbye, time, when, or want. How glorious to not know the word want! I want….. Ah..see, caught myself. Would it even be possible to make it through a day without saying the word “want”? Would you be able to notice when you said it?

How do I let go of envy? How do I find contentment in the present moment? How do I experience gratitude for what I already have? Life would be so much sweeter if I could find the answers.

Patricia

Last night I spent 5 hours! catching up with my dear friend Patricia. It has been a long time since we saw each other last so we had a lot to catch up on. I met Patricia back in 2000 and she is my long lost soul mate! I love to talk to Patricia. She has had an amazing life and I love to listen to all of her stories and advice. There is so much I have to learn from her, such as the benefits of eating crystalized ginger before you eat fruit. Who knew? I must make an effort to see her more often.

I've known Patricia five years but this is the first time I have been to her house! Holy Cow, it's huge!! The most gorgeous, enormous, amazing victorian home in downtown St. Louis. It was so homey and had such a great energy. I'm so glad I was able to see it. Thanks for dinner Patricia! It was wonderful to see you!

Domino

I found out about a new home magazine coming out next month via design*sponge. It's called Domino. Ironically it is by the publishers of Lucky and I bought my first Lucky last night. I don't think Lucky is really for me though. It was fun, but I'm just not that in to spending thousands of dollars on clothes. I am however in to spending thousands of dollars on designing my living space which might explain why I already subscribed to Domino. (I'm SO addicted to magazines!) Go here for a sneak peek.

Louis Kahn

[via www.greatbuildings.com; Esherick House - Chestnut Hill, PA]

We watched the documentary My Architect this evening and it was really spectacular. It was made by the illegitimate son of the famous architect Louis Kahn. I must admit that I didn't know a thing about Kahn before I watched this movie. I had heard good reviews and I have always had an interest in architecture so I thought it would be fun to watch. It's a great film and a very interesting story.

My favorite part though was the end. The director travels to India and Bangladesh to see two of his father's greatest buildings. At each building he spoke to an architect from that country about the building and his father. Both architects commented about this man as if he were enlightened.

The man from India described Kahn as a guru and he believed that Kahn died because he had reached the point of enlightenment. The man from Bangladesh described Kahn as a man full of love, that Kahn had love for everyone. This struck me as another trait of someone who has attained enlightenment. The depth of emotion that both of these men had for Kahn was very touching. It made his story all that more intriguing to me since I have my own guru and I have great respect for anyone who has come close to attaining that level of spirituality.

I don't know if Louis Kahn was enlightened but he definitely had a spirit that touched many people's lives and he created some very beautiful buildings. What a great way to spend a Monday evening.


[via www.archpedia.com; Indian Institute of Management]


[via www.archpedia.com, National Assembly Bangladesh]

Sideways

I must find a quilting class... I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm quickly losing my patience. Sunday morning I finally figured out a space in the apartment that was big enough for me to lay out the quilt. Once again I forged ahead out of impatience instead of thinking about what I read in my book. I layed down the backing but didn't smooth it out and secure it to the floor. I didn't think to smooth out the batting either. By the time I thought about all of the wrinkles I had already layed down the top piece, smoothed it out and pinned everything together. My solution was to turn the whole thing over, smooth out the backing and repin. Not perfect...but an improvement. Then I starting basting. This is where I really got frustrated. I have no idea if I am doing it correctly and the book isn't much help. And it takes too LONG!!! Who has the patience for all of these steps? At this rate it could take me a week just to baste the quilt! ugh..

I know there is a good lesson in here somewhere... such as, good things come to those who wait... but I'm thinking that a class would be good just so I can find out if there are much easier and faster ways to do all these steps. Maybe quilting is just not for me...

I went to a yoga class on Saturday at the Big Bend Yoga Center. It was my first class in probably 3 years. It was fun. I liked the space it was in and the size of the class. I'm definitely sore today. Now I just have to figure out how to fit it into my schedule on a regular basis. I'm also thinking of training for a half marathon. I've been feeling really old, sore and creaky lately. Joints ache, muscles ache, no energy, etc. I must do something to make my body feel better. I know if I don't get in shape now it will only get harder as the years pass.

This was a movie weekend. We saw Sideways on Friday night which was good. Saturday night we rented The Manchurian Candidate with was also good. Right now Andrew is out watching The Aviator and we have another rental to watch called My Architect.

For now it's time to get back to my basting...

Cyclone

I can not concentrate today. So distracted. Andrew says my Dad's nickname for me.... "Cyclone" is very fitting for how I am behaving today.

So torn between career change and living arrangement change (to buy house or not buy house). Which one to change....? Wanting both... feeling like I can only pick one.

I've mentioned Jen Gray here before but the other day she wrote a FABULOUS poem that sums up my feelings. Sometimes it creeps me out...like Jen shares a brain with me! Really...you must go read it.

I found a couple new blogs today. Buzzville [via Wee Wonderfuls] and Crazy for Fiber [via A Bird in the Hand].

Kelly of Buzzville got my attention because she also mentioned the Craft Corner Deathmatch (although it sounds like it isn't very good..) AND because her About page mentions that she was once a scientist AND an interior designer! My dream! So I sent her a long, probably overly personal email begging for her advice and guidance about how she transitioned to interior design. I hope I wasn't scary....and I hope she tells me about her story.

Gerrie of Crazy for Fiber is the mom of 2 crafty daughters... Lisa and Steph. The reason Gerrie caught my attention is that she is also a Cornell Alumni!! Just like me!! I might write her an email too....asking for advice on how she had such a long and varied career; questions on quilt making; and what she misses most about Cornell.

Andrew and I are going to go see Sideways tonight. I hope it takes my mind off things.

Craft Corner Deathmatch

Andrew and his brother Matt.

Thanks for coming to visit Matt and Elena! It was super fun to get to hang out with you guys!

Andrew found some crazy new crafter's show on the style network called Craft Corner Deathmatch. Kind of like Iron Chef but with crafts. I haven't actually watched it yet but it might entertaining.

Loving this homemade dress made from a bedsheet.

Dreaming of taking arts and crafts classes in far away places.

Obsessing over modbird #8.

Happy 2 years and 1 day sweetie...

2 years jr. high
+
4 years high school
+
4 years college etc. friendship
+
6 years post college friendship
+
1 year of dating between NYC and St. Louis
+
1 year of living together in a crappy suburban apartment
=
Lots of love and happiness =)

I think 2005 is gonna be a big year for us. We've been doing a lot of talking, arguing, thinking, dreaming and planning about a house many months now. I think this is the year we will take the plunge. A BIG and SCARY commitment but also a FUN and EXCITING new chapter to add to our long history together.

I can barely get through each day as I count down to when you will actually let me go and look at a house! I'm so focused on May 1st!! When I read Andrea's blog the other day it reminded me that I need to stay focused on the moment so I don't lose 2 months of my life waiting for something in the future. I know the next few months will be nerve racking and challenging (as your tummy proved this evening...) but I hope we can enjoy this time and relish in the excitment and anticipation instead of letting the fear get he better of us.

Love you... XXOO =+

Happy Maha Shivaratri

Shivaratri:
(lit., night of Shiva) The night of the new moon in late February that is especially sacred to Lord Shiva. Devotees repeat the mantra Om Namah Shivaya throughout the night; on this night each repetition is said to equal the merit of a thousand repetitions. (via www.syda.org)

I hope all of your lives are filled with a thousand blessings.

AND Congratulations to Stefanie and Patrick who welcomed Samuel Patrick Russo into the world on Saturday! He was 3 weeks early!

I spy a very expensive quilting machine!

I hate when Flickr is having a massage! It is no fun posting to the blog without pictures. HoHum....

Amy Karol posted another one of her quilts this morning. Apparently she is going to make Monday Quilt day. I really like this one, much more than the first one she posted. I must say though that I am quite jealous that she has access to a Gammill. I mean really.....it just doesn't seem fair that she can probably quilt a queen size blanket in an hour and it may take me weeks to do it by hand....maybe months! I have no idea really since I've never done it...but obviously the machine would be faster.

I was trying to get a feel for what Gammills cost...and this one on eBay is going for around $7800!!! Isn't that insane! I must do some research and see if there is a store or a club around here who rent time on a Gammill. That would be ideal. I have so many ideas for quilts but I'm daunted by the thought of how long it will take to make each one.

My sister-in-law asked me this morning if I would be interested in making quilts for my nieces. I've thought about this before but never felt like I had a good idea for a pattern. She had a great idea that she got from her friend Kim. An "I Spy" quilt where each block is a different object or character and you can play I Spy with the kids on the quilt. She is gonna look for some fabric for the objects and send it to me and then I'll fill in the rest. I'm totally excited but I just hope it doesn't take me forever to do the quilting.

Working for the man

Reading Amy Karol's site this morning I found out that one of my favorite quilt designers, Denyse Schmidt, has sold out to the Man. Apparently she is designing mass produced quilts for Crate and Barrel.

Don't get me wrong. I love the quilt she designed and I love the price but something about it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Amy talks about this too. Part of the attraction of hand-made, crafted goods is the fact that they are hand made. That they are individual, special, one-of-a-kind. That an artist put in blood, sweat, tears and time to make that unique item. The simple fact that every other person in America can buy the same quilt from Crate and Barrel makes it unattractive. I'd rather just make my own.

Then again...I love Crate and Barrel and I'm sure Denyse could use the financial support from such a deal....but it just feels like she is selling out. I'm quickly learning that ideals don't pay the bills.... sad, sad, sad.

Another taste of reality... turns out freelancing isn't all it's cracked up to be. Alex and Amy have both given up on freelancing and are returning to the 9-5 world. I realize freelancing works for some people...but I think your talent ratio has got to be out of this world to make a living. Then again I think Alex and Amy are both SUPER talented, so I'm kind of surprised it didn't work for them. Maybe there are other factors at play? Unfortunately it doesn't really give me any confidence that I could make a living from my art if the others I admire can't make it either.

Then again, there is Jenny, whose husband just left his job to help her with her website Frecklewonder fulltime. She has more business then she knows what to do with!

Orchids, Morocco, and how birds will save the world

Sorry I've been so quiet lately. Just focused on other things I guess.

I finished sewing the top and bottom of my quilt. Now comes the basting and the hand-quilting. It will have to wait until next weekend because things are too busy at the moment.

Tonight I go to a Cornell Club function (Cornell University is my alma mater) with my friend Denice. It's a talk by Dr. John Fitzpatrick, the Director of the Laboratory of Ornithology at Cornell (where I used to work in college). He is speaking on "How Birds Will Save the World-Biodiversity Conservation in the Internet Age". I miss Cornell, I miss the Lab of O, and I miss talking about science so I'm looking forward to the evening. Denice has worked with birds in the past too so I figured she would be interested in going. It's our "girl's geeking out" night.

Friday night is dinner at John and Leigh's to see Leigh's pictures from her recent 2 week trip to Morocco!

Saturday is a house warming party at my friend Moose's new place and then Andrew's brother Matt and his girl Elena show up for a visit.

Sunday we will show Matt and Elena the town. Probably the Botanical Garden for the Orchid show.

Monday, more hanging out with Matt and Elena.

Tuesday is Maha Shivaratri so I will be at the Perry's house to celebrate.

And finally Wednesday is my 2 year anniversary with Andrew. (=+ honey...)

So, as you can see....busy, busy. With guests in the house my "studio" is basically out of commission. I'll have to switch off the quilt and back on to the knitting project.

Don't forget that tonight is the Season 4 premiere of America's Next Top Model!!

Twins