Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Home Sick

Example
This picture makes me think of home. I grew up in Cortland New York. A small town 30 minutes south of Syracuse New York.

This picture is actually in Pennsylvania. It's from a wonderful new photoblog called A Walk Through Durham Township, Pennsylvania. [found via the 2005 Phoottobloggie awards] The photographer is Kathleen Connally and her work is absolutely breathtaking. It's no wonder she was the winner of 2 Photobloggie awards this year, best landscape photography and photo of the year.

I've been missing from my blog the last few days because Andrew and I have started the search for a home...and it's making me sick...with stress. Home shopping is exhausting, physically and mentally. We finally have a realtor so suddenly it feels like the race is on. We've probably seen 15-20 houses in the last 3 days. One is too close to the highway, another is too expensive, one is too small, another on a bad street. I can't believe we have seen so many houses and none of them feel right. I'm getting more and more anxious that I'm going to end up having to settle for something....and that is an awful feeling. We've only just started the search but our excitement is keeping us from being patient.

Lastly I'm homesick because I found out that one of my uncles died of a heart attack this past weekend. My Uncle Teddy. I probably haven't seen him since I was 10 years old but he made an impression on me. I remember him as a very large, happy, friendly black man. I always used to be so proud of that...telling all my grade school friends that I had a black uncle. He was a dedicated social worker, an avid golfer, raised two kids, and struggled with kidney disease for almost 30 years. I always wanted to go back and visit him in New Jersey to get reacquainted...but now all I have are my memories. I wanted to post a picture of him but I don't have any with me...they are all back home in NY.

This is the second uncle I have lost to a heart attack in the last 4 years. It's weird being at a stage in my life where I am starting to lose loved ones. It makes me miss the past and fear the future.

I miss you Uncle Teddy and I'm sorry I didn't get to see you again before you had to go.

1 comment:

funkyjunkie said...

hang in there girly. best thoughts your way.

sorry to hear about your uncle. getting older and realizing it sucks.

*the* house will come your way. you have a much larger market than i had from which to choose, and it took us two months. My BIL/SIL searched for about three months.

You remember how long it took to find the love of your life ... well, it won't take that long to find a house. :) Keep smiling!