"Don't allow the approval and attention of others to destroy you. Remain humble and grateful for all your accomplishments, and know that a force greater than your ego is always at work in your life"
~Dr. Wayne Dyer, Power of Intention Cards
This hit the nail on the head today.... Still struggling with the job search, or lack there of... It is very difficult to keep from feeling defeated and insecure every time I get a "we are not hiring" letter. This "lack of approval and attention" is "destroying me..."
The current saying that I have been repeating to myself is: "good things come to those who wait". This makes me think about something greater than myself having plans for me... and to just enjoy the moment while the bigger picture gets taken care of without me. This can be comforting but I also have my moments where I just feel crazy like my hands are tied and I have no control over my future. I just want to go in the back yard and scream as loud as I can..."I JUST WANT TO WORK!"
I had my suspicions that finding something would be difficult....but somehow this process is turning out to be worse than I was prepared for...
As my mother always says, "Whatever is meant to be, will be." I'm just not sure what to do in the meantime....
Actually I take that back, despite all my frustration and angst I have found plenty of time to enjoy life while I've been waiting and staring at my phone...
I've been listening a lot to Regina Spektor's new CD. You can listen to it online.
Last night I watched an interesting documentary on the Sundance channel called Blue Vinyl that I read about via Apartment Therapy:Green. It was good and I definitely learned a lot of good information that I was not aware of....but it also left me with a pit in my stomach. There is a LOT of stuff in this world that is bad for us...and sometimes it just feels overwhelming to try to keep track of it all, much less replace it all. While this director focuses on vinyl siding, vinyl is used in a TON of other household items. It seems almost impossible to get away from it all without making it your full time job.
Tonight I am hosting a punyatithi (auspicious lunar day) at my mediation group because it is Bhagavan Nityananda's mahasamadhi (when a great being leaves his physical body). It's been a LONG time since I hosted but I figured maybe it would be good for my karma...(come on universe! work with me!) I've been attending meditation more often this month and it is nice to have it back in my life.
I'll leave you with my horoscope that I stumbled upon today...
Sagittarius Your power is fully engaged this week as you struggle to express your needs. Although it may be totally inappropriate to just put your feelings out there, you must find an acceptable way to get the energy moving. Don't worry if you don't know what the future holds. Let your highest ideals guide you through a process. Ultimately, your integrity will have the greatest impact on your happiness.
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2 comments:
Thanks for the Regina Spektor link! I had heard a few songs and almost ordered a cd today, but I couldn't justify the expense today... nice timing.
Here's another platitude:
Patience is a virtue.
Marie Fehr always uses that one and something good finally came her way. Just hope you don't have to wait that long! Just keep doing what you're doing and I'll keep praying.
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