[via Kohler Interiors, Barbara Barry furniture line]
Feeling defeated this morning.... I thought for sure I would be on the path to my dream job by now, and my ego is having a hard time understanding what exactly went wrong. Insecurity is creeping in....
I have an interview this morning for an unpaid internship. It is in residential design, which I have been avoiding because of its attachment to socio-economic status.
Through the grapevine I found out that the firm I am going to see this morning has a new client that wants the look of Barbara Barry. Barbara Barry is an extremely talented designer of interiors and furniture and I really love her work. I went to her website this morning to do some "research" and I found something on Barbara's "About" page that both surprised me and spoke to me.
"style has nothing to do with money and everything to do with how you feel about yourself."
Residential design is an industry that has an expectation for style and an attachment to where you live, what you wear and what parties you attend. All of this has bothered me from day one...but I've never been able to find a way around it. Barbara's insight reminds me that I can exist in this industry I just have to look within myself, not outside myself.
My other big insecurity in this business is when people call me a decorator. For me it is an association with being uneducated and insignificant. But really, deep down, I know that decorator or not, living in a space that is functional and beautiful is a blessing. I shouldn't be embarrassed to believe that it is important to have a beautiful space, private or public; expensive or not.
"good and thoughtful design can affect our lives profoundly, and hold us in quiet ways. I believe that beauty is healing and inspiring; I want to help others see beauty in all areas of their lives."
So really all I need is confidence.... sounds easy, right? Confidence in how I feel about myself and confidence in how I feel about design. Guess I've got some work to do....
Here's to a new adventure... Residential interview number 3 (the third one is the charm right?) I hope this one is better than the last two...and I hope it changes my outlook and opens my mind to new opportunities.