Thursday, January 20, 2005

Caution: Life in blog may appear more spectacular than normal

Superhero 05_2004
I’ve been struggling lately with a severe case of “the grass is greener on the other side.” It’s really making me crazy. It is making me crazy because there is no reason for it. I live a very wonderful, safe, and comfortable life. What could possibly be greener about it?

Unfortunately this feeling isn’t anything new…I would say it’s something that has plagued me my whole life. Even though I try and tell myself I’m really one of those confident people who doesn’t like to be a cookie cut out and be like everyone else… yet I constantly compare my life to others and wonder…why don’t I have that?

I know I’ve talked about my community of blogs a couple times here and how beneficial and important they are to my life. However, I am beginning to think that maybe I am totally brainwashed by these blogs! I have been sucked into a blog culture cult! I seriously think that reading about 17 other peoples’ lives for 5 years has begun to take it’s toll on me. Instead of using them for inspiration I’m just comparing my life to theirs….and then feeling like the loser.

I do think that blogs, your own and others, can be a great source of support, creativity and inspiration but I think maybe it’s time I took a vacation from other’s blogs. I think it would be an interesting experiment to see what happens when I eliminate blog reading from my life for a week….or 2 weeks… or dare I say a month? What would happen?

1. I think I would be bored out of my mind!
2. I would miss all of these “lives” that I’ve been following for so long. What if I miss something important!?
3. I think it might bring me back to living in the moment… of my own life. Maybe I’ll be more observant of what I’m doing instead of what other people are doing.
4. Maybe I will be more creative and find my own sources of inspiration.
5. Maybe I will figure out what I really want to do with my life…

Hmm… it’s scary to give up something that you have grown attached to…

On another note there are lots of things I want to do with this blog. Now that I have had a taste of being able to post pictures and be more creative with my design there are so many things I want to try. Unfortunately I’m not sure I can do them here….in this ‘free’ blogger environment. There might be a lot of moving, changing, stretching, and creating this year. I hope you can all keep up with me.

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