Eat it up

I'm back! Did you miss me?

I had a fabulous time back home in Buffalo. My nieces are super, SUPER adorable and I could eat them up! Maggie was so good to me and let me cuddle with her lots (Mom was super jealous...sorry mom =) )


There were other highlights besides the nieces, believe it or not. On Friday my mom, Aunt Rose, Aunt Mary and I went to see a Frank Lloyd Wright house called Graycliff.



It is the summer home he designed on Lake Erie for the Darwin D. Martin family. (Mom and I went to see their Frank Lloyd Wright home in the city (of Buffalo) last year. ) The house is still in a lot of disrepair but it was fabulous anyway. I really enjoyed seeing this house....I think I just liked the house the most out of the 3 I have visited...I could see myself living there and being comfortable.

Now it's back to working on my own house. We have a few weeks before Andrew's parents arrive and I think we are gearing up for a house warming party soon. I need to sew curtains and hang more pictures and pick out more paints.

Here is a glimpse of the yard that I took last week from one of my studio windows. Look at that grass grow!

On the road again

[Mikaela, Kelly and Maggie; Renaissance Festival Sterling NY 2005]

I'm hitting the road again. This time up to my hometown of Buffalo to visit my two cutie nieces and the rest of my extended family. Be back on Tuesday.

Camping with love

Well, after a rough start (sick dog, sick Sara, sick Andrew) we made it to Wisconsin in one piece and had a very relaxing and wonderful weekend. I love Wisconsin! Everytime I go there I am so relaxed.

Congratulations Keith and Shaili!


What an awesome wedding. So simple, sweet and beautiful. It was a little hot, somewhere in the 90s, but the park was the perfect location. I got to see lots of old friends that I haven't seen in quite some time (Hi Dave and Janine!). And I met new people too, like Alex and Rebecca. Go check out their website. They just started a non-profit organization and are doing some really awesome work in Africa.

I actually ENJOYED the camping (stop laughing Denice!). No, really, I did. The fresh air, the stars, the moon, the raccoons, campfires, mashmallows. There is something about camping that just makes you feel good. I didn't have a care in the world. I think I should camp more often.

As usual I didn't take nearly as many pictures as I wanted. We decided it was safer not to take the camera on the Wisconsin river but I wish I had. It was so gorgeous and we had a blast. The water was so much fun.


Now we are back and I have a couple days off to do whatever I want!! I think I'll start with making some toast.

Wedding in Wisconsin

Andrew and I are off to Wisconsin this weekend to attend Keith and Shaili's wedding.

I am looking forward to: celebrating Keith and Shaili, knitting in the car, roasting marshmallows, meeting new people, using our tent for the second time, floating on the Wisconsin River, soaking up the sun, taking pictures, breathing the fresh air, and hopefully feeling relaxed and carefree.

Hope everyone has a relaxing weekend of their own. Be back on Monday.

Press On

[Red Rocks, Denver Colorado; May 2004]

Press on:
Nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance.
Talent will not;
Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not;
Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not;
The world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
Press on!

~Calvin Coolidge

Garden of mud

Here is completed knitting project #2, another baby blanket but this time for my good friends in Seattle.

Pattern: Big Bad Baby Blanket; Stitch n' Bitch
Yarn: Baby Ull; 100% merino wool

And by special request for my mom (since she helped us do ALOT of work on the yard on the 4th of July)...pictures of the progress made on the backyard this weekend.



I ripped out the entire garden that the sellers left here (muddy looking area on the left). There were a zillion irises! I replanted a mixture of irises and day lilies along the back fence. Some ferns and hostas got moved under the tree to the right and Andrew tore out the rest of the plants and turned all the soil. Now it is covered with grass seed which is quickly being eaten by every bird in the neighborhood.



At the moment Hurricane Dennis is turning the backyard into a giant mud pit!! It won't stop raining! All this rain might be good for the grass seed but I think it is taking it's tool on some of my other plants...=(

Thanks Mom for this book and this book that you sent me in the mail, you rock!! I can't wait to read them.

TinCan Therapy

[me and Bob; John & Leigh's Wedding, June 2005]

Been contemplating these thoughts from Ali… and these thoughts from Danny…

I’ve been so busy posting about the house that I’ve been stashing away a lot of other feelings, thoughts and worries that have been brewing.

Maybe my body thinks if I ignore them they will go away… they aren’t going away…
I know this from all of the Pop Tarts and Whatchamacallit bars I have been eating out of the vending machine this week. And the fact that I told Andrew 3 times this morning that I haven’t been sleeping well.

Things are S-L-O-W at work….which is awful because it gives my mind WAY too much time and freedom to roam…. and it usually roams to all the wrong places, like my insecurities, worries and such; or to the internet for shopping therapy.

Change is in the air.

Change=Fear=Worry=Me in hiding, dysfunctional and a ball of nerves 24/7 (God bless Andrew)

I try to think back and remember how I handled other times of change… When I moved to Missouri back in 1998. When I left my job in 1999. When I moved out of my sweet little rental house in 2004. The thing I handled the best was probably leaving my job in 1999 and for the life of me I can’t remember why I handled it so well!!! I should have been terrified! I had no job prospects and no place to live! (the job I was leaving provided housing…no job, no housing) But when I think back on that time I remember feeling liberated, excited, light, airy, free and full of possibility. Maybe it was because I was only 24 but I wish I could find that feeling again.

I don’t mean to sound cliché but I suppose this is my mid-life crisis? (or more accurately, “I’m not in my 20s anymore” crisis). I’m 30 and I feel lost and I don’t want to waste any more time feeling that way.

And this is why I LOVE my dear, dear friend Bob. I have been wracking my brain for weeks, wavering between this decision and that decision and last night I somehow ended up at the TinCan, drinking a Coke, talking with Bob, surrounded by the DirtyDogs softball team. And Bob said to me “Two years from now….would you rather have decorated your house…or become a decorator?”

And in typical fashion my mind responded, “Well I’m not sure I want to be a decorator or that I’ll be good enough, blah, blah, blah”….. But my heart got the point.

THE POINT IS… in 2 years I would rather know that I at least tried. That I went out and tried to find the thing that made me happy. And who knows…maybe in 2 years I’ll be a decorator….or maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll be in a graduate school program for science…or education; or maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll be serving coffee at the shop around the corner

but maybe, just maybe…. I will have discovered a way to spend my days that makes me happy and joyful and full and alive.

As much as I love buying things, objects, and stuff for my house (which represents lots of other baggage like having money and security)….it could never compare to finding happiness.

London

I just went to read Crazy Aunt Purl and Laurie had posted about what happened in London this morning. I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders as I realized that I am not the only one in this world who is sitting at work in a daze of sadness and confusion. I considered writing about my feelings this morning but I was actually embarrassed to write anything....because I thought I was the only one reacting to the news! Just like Laurie, everyone in my office is just moving along, business as usual. Sometimes I wonder where these people come from?

I feel awful for all the people of London, knowing how it feels to see your country under attack. I feel awful for the people who were killed and injured and the families that are sick with worry. I feel awful that I live in a world where there is so much ignorance, hate and evil and I feel helpless to stop it. I feel trapped; scared to travel; scared to live my life. I feel terrified to even consider bringing a child into this world someday.

All I can think to do is to repeat my mantra. To try and remember that where there is darkness there is also light. Do not focus on the darkness.

"You are the light, You are the refuge, There is no place to take shelter but yourself."
~inscription over Buddha's ashes [via Andrea at Superherodesigns]

House update

Well my Mom has come and gone but it was a really awesome visit. Thanks Mom! If felt like we were go, go, going the whole weekend but it felt really great.

Sunday we stopped at my favorite vintage store and made out like bandits! Mom got me this super cute square table cloth, ,

green art nouveau vase

and an original Milo Baughman chair!



Here is a before and after of our fireplace paint experiment....

I think I like not having it white, but I'm not sure we picked the right shades of paint. I think I want an even darker brown and a more gray khaki on the bottom. I'm leaving it for now though, need to do other projects.

Monday we did a TON of yard work. Our yard was so SOOOO overgrown. It looks so much lighter, brighter and more open. =) Andrew and I are going to try and work on it some more this weekend. He is determined to have a lush, green lawn before his parents visit in August.


Thanks for coming to visit Mom and thanks for all the goodies. I had a great time and I can't wait to see you again in a few weeks!

10 Tenets of Whole Living

1. Happiness is a choice. You can make that choice today and every day.
2. Good health isn't a gift; it's a habit you can cultivate.
3. Stay connected to the natural world. It will feed your soul.
4. Think more about what you should eat more than what you shouldn't.
5. Nurture your spirit. It's the source of your strength.
6. A healthy, fit body is not enough, true fitness engages the spirit.
7. Laugh at yourself. You're funny.
8. Believe in yourself. Your intuition is rarely wrong.
9. It's never too late to take the first step toward your aspirations.
10. What you pay attention to will thrive.

[via ali edwards]

Birdbath... or maybe it's Dogbath

Quick week recap...
Monday and Tuesday - painted living room and dining room ceiling

Tuesday evening - cut living/dining room walls with "birdbath" paint


Wednesday - tickets to Cardinals baseball game
Thursday - One last final trip to the apartment and first coat of paint in living/dining room


Friday - finished second coat of paint in living/dining room and then went to the airport to pick up my mum!

Andrew is off playing with his friends in NY at their annual pool party, HI Andrew's friends in NY! I miss you guys! And my mom is here to see our new house and help me decorate!

So far so good. This morning we painted all the trim in the living/dining room, shopped for curtain fabric and picked out paint for the fireplace.


Tomorrow we test the curtain fabric and paint the fireplace (not sure how this idea will work out...but it's fun trying!). I think we will throw in some antiquing for good measure.

And just in case you were wondering.....we are fully aware of the fact that it is the 4th of July....because Kula is in the tub -




Poor Kula!!! (she hates fireworks!)

This is my symphony

"To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconcious, grow up through the common - this is my symphony." [William Henry Channing]

{via Ali Edwards, March archives}

Lost and Found

It was a busy, busy weekend. After lots of debate over what to do with my Friday night....I realized that I was too stressed to do much of anything that I had actually planned on doing. Add to that the fact that there was a Cardinals baseball game that night...and a building had just exploded downtown I knew that my attempt to commute home after work could take multiple hours....so Andrew came out to the county instead and we had a "date". It felt good to go out with each other after weeks of running around being busy. We went to see Star Wars and it was pretty good. Much better than 1 and 2. I had low expectations but was pleasantly surprised.

Saturday we did some stuff around the house, attended a birthday party for our friend Makanaaloha's ninth revolution around the sun, and then headed to the apartment to clean. Our lease there ends Thursday so we have to clean up and hopefully get some of our deposit money back. Cleaning was awful! It took a good 3 hours...and it was so hot in there...yuck. Needless to say I passed out Saturday night around 9.

Sunday was more house stuff. I did manage to put the third and final coat of joint compound on my fireplace mantle. It looks great if I do say so myself!! I'll take another picture after it's all primed and painted. Then we had tickets to a baseball game in crazy, crazy heat!! Ugh... it's gonna be a hot one in Missouri this summer...

On the way home we got a call from our friend Aileen that her sweet little old dog Taylor was LOST. We went home, made some signs and hung them in the neighborhood. Afterward we all went to the neighborhood bar to eat some food and thank goodness Aileen got a call that someone had found him!!! =) Thank goodness!!!

Andrew and I also managed to stop at one of my favorite antique malls this weekend. We FOUND this awesome old dresser which is now the happy home for towels to wipe off Kula's wet feet, napkins, kitchen towels and a much needed junk drawer. Check out the sweet patina.






I also found this awesome fabric! From left to right you see apple green velvet, dark green mohair, and shiny green cotton chintz.



Here are some pictures of how my new "art" room is coming along.

Happy Birthday Gurumayi

Do you want to be happy? Be generous. Give credit to others' good qualities, others' virtues, others' goodness...become totally generous if you want to be happy.

~ Gurumai Chidvilasananda

The mysterious leaking dishwasher

This morning I walked downstairs and noticed an odd puddle of water on the kitchen floor. I commented to Andrew, "Where did this come from?", to which he quickly answered, "I don't know." Neither of us thought much of it because Kula has to be one of the sloppiest water drinking dogs I've ever met. She leaves trails of water throughout the kitchen on a daily basis, so I got a towel and wiped it up.

But then this evening as I was putting away my dinner dishes into the dishwasher I noticed it still looked wet around the baseboard of the cabinets.... and after further investigation I decided to take off the front panel of the dishwasher. Lo and behold there is another odd puddle.... and I can not for the life of me figure out where it came from??


The water valve is close to the puddle area....however the shape of the puddle does not seem to jive with the location of the valve. Needless to say I mopped up the water with some paper towels... but when I came back an hour later the puddle seemed "wet" again??? Where the hell is it coming from!!!???

I wanted to call this entry "The Money Pit" but I didn't have it in me. Somehow, deep down, I know that something much worse will rear it's ugly head some day (hopefully not soon!) and I'll need that entry title to really carry it's weight. Not to mention that just the thought of the words "the Money Pit" makes me want to cry after a week of silverfish, roaches, melted vinyl siding (I'll save that one for another day) and now a mysterious puddle.

In more interesting news I received one of the two rugs I ordered the other day. Take a look.


I'm not sure if I like it....??? I think it will look better once the walls are painted blue....but is it too busy?? Too light colored?? I got it from West Elm. It is the bi-colored jute. Guess I'll hold on to it until I paint and get the couch so I can get a real feel for it.

I added the second coat of joint compound tonight. Sorry, no pictures, it wasn't nearly as exciting or fun this time. It was much harder to gauge the thickness this time, I think I put it on too thin... and I kept getting dried chips from the other day in the plaster somehow and then it would dig groves into the compound! What a mess. Coat number three, the final coat, will be Saturday morning.

The magic of joint compound

Exhibit A: Textured plaster above my living room fireplace. Yuck..I hate it. I spent several days researching online and offline about how to get rid of it.





Exhibit B: Me spreading drywall joint compound over textured plaster.



Exhibit C: The finished first coat of joint compound above my living room fireplace. Go me!! I know it doesn't look that smooth in the close-up, but Hey...it's my first time! Not only that but after a little wet sanding this morning it looked much better. Tomorrow night is coat number 2 and hopefully this weekend....coat number 3, the final coat! Stay tuned!

Surround Yourself with High-Energy People

[Steph and me at the Parker wedding, June 2005]

"Choose to be in close proximity to people who are empowering, who appeal to your sense of connection to intention, who see the greatness in you, who feel connected to God, and who live a life that gives evidence that Spirit has found celebration through them."

[via The Power of Intention Cards, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. I was already familiar and fond of Dr. Dyer but I first discovered these cards through Ali.]

Mr. and Mrs. Parker

Congratulations Leigh and John!!
What a gorgeous, GORGEOUS Day! 83 degrees, sunny, light breeze, low humidity. I love Missouri in June! The wedding was a blast! Here are some more snapshots:


[That's me on the far left, Michele, Leigh (the bride), Bridget and Rachel]


[Here are the groomsmen: Matt and my cutie pa-tootie Andrew]


[Here is a polarid of me and Andrew that was for the wedding guest book. For some reason Andrew and I are awful at managing to get our picture taken together. We've been dating for over 2 years and I swear we have like 3 pictures of us together!! Hopefully the one the wedding photographer took will come out well and we can get a copy. ]

The D Lounge

Friday....1:3oam.... Bachelorette girls night out.... Nice veil Leigh! =)

Oh...and note that I have no idea who the girl in the middle is. Steph, on the left, made friends with her in about 2 seconds and scored us a table in a standing room only bar. Go Steph! The night was actually a blast! It's been a long time since I had a girls night out. I have high hopes for the wedding reception on Saturday.

anxiety shades

[Kula and Della wait in the "safe zone" of the apartment as we move our stuff out. June 2005]

I feel, how Kula looks...

I'm sitting in the dining room listening to the neighbors across the street angrily yelling at each other, house (or maybe it's car) sirens going off down the street, my laundry tumbling in the basement. 2 of the sounds make me anxious, 1 sound comfortable... anxious wins.

I'm adjusting to this neighborhood faster than I thought I would. (excluding tonight...) I've enjoyed taking Kula for walks and looking at all of the unique, old homes. Sometimes it reminds me of being in Savannah, Georgia. So much character.

And then I hear stories from friends in the neighborhood about friends of friends in the neighborhood getting mugged at their door and shot in the head, although they manage to survive. These are not the stories I want to hear...although I try to stay rational and realize that this can happen anywhere...even in the suburbs...right?

I've spent the entire evening staring at shades and drapes on this computer....and still no decisions. This is why I tell myself I can not become a designer. I can not seem to visualize what will look good and what will not. Then the buyer's remorse kicks in just thinking about making a purchase. If only I was as good at decorating as I am at being anxious.